If hating Duke is wrong, I don't want to be right!

Published in The Dispatch

GateHouse Media 

I’ve loved the Tar Heels ever since the majestic white envelope with sky-blue lettering appeared in my mailbox one afternoon in December of 1995. I applied for early decision to three schools, and UNC was the second to say “Yes.” I remember standing outside of my auntie’s car tearing into the package and being mesmerized by the colorful images of dorm life. My housing options arrived a few days before my acceptance letter, and as I stood on the lawn of a 500-square-foot apartment I could feel a world of opportunity waiting for me in Chapel Hill. Just like that I became a mighty Tar Heel.

My trash talk began with my job at the Daily Tar Heel. Our newspaper staff had an ongoing bet with the Duke Chronicle, and the losing school’s newspaper often agreed to publish its masthead in the winning school’s shade of blue. One year we even wagered a front page. Another year, UNC lost to Duke, and our paper was filled with “funny” stories from our Chronicle colleagues at the other end of Tobacco Road.

I can’t decide if my hatred of Duke is superseded by my love of the Tar Heels, but my annual I-hate-Duke column (aka, “The Devil definitely wears a darker shade of blue”) isn’t unusual for a UNC grad. In fact, it has been inspired by a piece written by Ian Williams, a 1990 Daily Tar Heel columnist. His version of, "Why I Hate Duke," was updated in 2007 and runs in the Daily Tar Heel every year around this time.

“Now I realize that school spirit is a pretty goofy thing to some people,” Williams wrote, “but I'll tell you something: I hate Duke with an infernal passion undying. I hate every leaf of every tree on that sickening campus. I hate every fake cherub Gothic piece of crap that litters the buildings like hemorrhoidal testaments to imagined superiority. When I see those Dookie boneheads shoe-polishing their faces navy blue on television, squandering their parents’ money with their fratty elitist bad sportsmanship antics and Saab stories, I want to puke all over Durham.” Let the Tar Heels say Amen!

Fast Forward to last week’s matchup

I knew my school spirit had gone a little too far when the hotel front desk called my room with less than a minute left in the first matchup of this season between UNC and Duke. I had to watch my Tar Heels play their rivalry game while I was traveling in Charleston, South Carolina, “Gamecock territory,” according to our waitress at dinner.

“Ma’am, we received some noise complaints,” the front desk clerk told me over the phone as UNC missed yet another foul shot. The next part was fuzzy, but I think she uttered something along the lines of “a woman’s cries of distress.” I was apolgetic as I held my hand over the receiver and whispered loudly to my beau, “We’re letting the @#! game slip away.” My mother raised me better and, apparently, our friends a little further south didn’t appreciate the epic magnitude of a UNC–Duke matchup.

he Tobacco Road rivalry is always rousing, but I have to confess that over the past few years something sinister has come over me. I typically make a few digs about why I hate the Devils leading up to the big game, but this year I found myself aggressively posting smack on friends’ pages. I even got into a social media exchange with a high school classmate who threatened to delete me (all in jest, of course).

What I love about the UNC-Duke matchup is that no matter who is on top of the rankings, expect the unexpected when those two teams get together. Last week’s game was another example, close until the final seconds when Duke pulled away from North Carolina late to win 86–78.

Are Carolina Blue skies in our future?

According to college basketball analysts, UNC Head Coach Roy Williams shouldn’t be too concerned with the Duke loss, but the Tar Heels are in for a rough few weeks before the rematch with Duke at the Smith Center on March 4. UNC is currently tied with Florida State atop the ACC, but five other teams are within reach. Our chances of repeating as regular-season conference champs could soon slip away if we aren’t victorious in the next few games.

I haven't found a way to get my Carolina fever in check, so I’m extending apologies in advance to anyone within 500 feet during the next UNC-Duke game. 

If hating Duke is wrong, I don't want to be right!