Never Edit Your Soul Blog By Antionette Kerr: The Price of Being a Bridesmaid

THE PRICE OF BEING
A BRIDESMAID
So you’ve watched them meet, fall in love, break up & get back together again and now they are finally tying the knot. And your dear friend has asked you the most important question in a true friendship…
"Will you be my bridesmaid?”

Timeout Girlfriend!

Before you say "Yes!" There are few things that you might want to ponder. I confessed that I once considered writing a “tell all book” in a column that first appeared in the Lexington Dispatch
Being a bridesmaid has its price has gone viral in papers across the country...
Click here to read it in The Dover Post

The column was inspired by a showing of the film Bridesmaids at the Edward C. Smith Civic Center in Lexington, NC. Disclaimer: The film is a little racy (Rated R). But here is what I had to say.

An excerpt: "After a couple of decades serving as a bridesmaid, I was wondering why someone hasn’t written a “tell all” book about the experience.Being asked to be a bridesmaid is an honor, to most women, but no matter how much you love your friend, the American bridal party traditions often test the bonds of friendship, honor and trust.

I haven’t been a bridesmaid in years, but I was recently reminded of those experiences when I received an invitation to join a Ladies’ Night Out viewing of the 2011 film “Bridesmaids.” Attendees were encouraged to wear bridesmaid dresses. My friend sent along a message insisting, “We SO have to do this.” We were as giddy as a wedding party and immediately began exchanging funny stories.

Full disclosure: I love the raunchy film “Bridesmaids,” but I suppose it would make some uncomfortable. It’s a guilty pleasure, and I was surprised the film was nominated for a Golden Globe Award for Best Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy. Several of the female cast members previously appeared on “Saturday Night Live,” and the film was my first introduction to the hilariously talented Melissa McCarthy (who was later nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress and Best Original Screenplay).

The movie is a crude chick flick. If you haven’t been a bridesmaid, you might not understand the humor. The film’s antagonist is Annie (Kristen Wiig), a baker who recently lost her business and boyfriend. Annie is asked to serve as maid of honor by her childhood best friend, Lillian (Maya Rudolph) during one of the worst moments in her love life and career. The bridal party is a colorful cast including Rose Byrne, McCarthy, Wendi McLendon-Covey and Ellie Kemper. This film is a laugh-out-loud journey through the expensive and bizarre rituals of bridesmaids.

The idea of getting all dressed up to see the movie led to a stroll down memory lane. I didn’t have a lot of options, and even though brides are known for selecting “something you can wear again,” bridesmaids quietly disagree. Most of my bridesmaid dresses were donated or mysteriously shrank over the years.

I went down to the garage and pulled out a raw silk Carolina Blue bridesmaid dress I made a point of keeping because it cost me over $300. The hefty price tag did not include the matching heels and the travel (for a ceremony that took place in the middle of a heat wave). We also purchased matching blue flip flops to wear during the reception. I kept insisting that if I was going to pay for heels, I was perfectly fine with wearing them the entire night, but the bride would not budge.

We were barely out of college when my friends and I declared it wedding season. I loved my girlfriends, but after notoriously complaining about the price of bridesmaids dresses, I finally learned to say no. But I was determined to wear that silk dress again. It represents one of my last days as a bridesmaid. That dress is symbolic of my unlucky experience.

I can’t share most wedding stories in an effort to spare feelings. Being a bridesmaid sounds fun at first, but it comes with a financial, emotional and social price. I appreciate there are certain bridesmaid truths explored in the film that range from the battles between childhood and new friends, the awkwardness of incorporating sisters in-law, the crazy cousin dynamic and the consistent complaining about the matching dress selection.

There are also good points made in the film “Bridesmaids,” and in the end the women come together. I think the film’s trailer describes it best. “With one chance to get it perfect, she’ll show Lillian and her bridesmaids just how far you’ll go for someone you love.” '

If you are too bashful to watch the film...
Just know that there are a few types of bridesmaids to watch out for:

Bridesmaid Type #1

New Friends v/s Old Friends Combatants

Bridesmaid Type #2

The Soon to be Sister-in-Law

Bridesmaid Type #3
The Constant Complainer

Just to name a few

Needless to say, there are moments during the course every bridesmaid's tenure that she asks herself..."Is it worth it?" and I think the final paragraph of my column sums it up for me and my friends...

"After sharing some of our bridesmaids horror stories, my friends agreed we would all do it again. Nothing can replace that beautiful moment of standing at the altar and watching one of your best friends walk down the aisle. Consider yourself lucky if someone appreciates you enough to ask you to be a bridesmaid. Marriages sometimes end and dresses no longer fit, but your girls are likely to be there. Being a bridesmaid is a life-long commitment."

I think I’ve found the answer to my own question about why there isn’t a tell-all book about bridesmaids."

Local Note: My friends & I had great time playing dress up and exchanging Bridesmaids Stories. Thanks to the Edward C. Smith Civic Center for the showing, great concessions and that lovely stroll down memory lane!